The Best Things Social Media Taught Me

Photo C/O of Reelr Media

In my quest to start a new life for myself, I turned to things that I had initially turned away. Unconventional means. One of those things being social media. And before you scoff at the thought, hear me out. Truthfully, social media can be quite draining and oftentimes a source of depression, but I decided to take what I needed from social media instead. I began to follow accounts that provided inspiration, new ways of thinking, parenting help, and even therapy. What I learned is that social media can be beneficial when used in the right way and with the right motive. Now, I am not saying social media should replace research, reading books, or actually talking with a person, but it can be insightful or what I like to think of it as is an introductory page to explore further details and concepts.

 Over the past two years, I was introduced to new standards of living that I had not initially considered or tried before. We tend to get wrapped into our own little life bubble and of course, most of what we learned about how to live our lives is taught by family or experiences that force us into certain roles.  I was ready to make changes, and as hard as it may be, it can be beneficial to understand and learn that others are not living the same type of life as you and yet, still arriving at your desired result.

Today, I want to share those with you. The top things I’ve been introduced to via social media that have been helping me to change my life for the better.

Imposter Syndrome

I had already felt this before I ever learned the name for it. It was the reason I was afraid to go for a promotion in my 9-5, the reason I downplayed myself as a parent, and the reason I never felt like I could start this blog. I thought that I simply wasn’t good enough and once I had the responsibility of producing a consistent result, I would fail and be seen as a fraud. After seeing imposter syndrome on social media, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was enlightened to a psychological phenom in which I had no awareness. Not only could I name that thing I had been feeling that was holding me back, but with some research, I could find ways to push through it.

The Five Love Languages

The interesting thing about the Five Love Languages is I think we all kind of know these things already right? But I think the concept from Gary Chapman allowed us to tie it all together; to identify our love languages and understand how we were loving each other in ways that did not benefit the other. For me, I immediately learned that I had been showing my husband acts of service in an effort to show my love for him because it felt really natural and important to me, meanwhile; he preferred to receive affection. I was blindly loving him how I wanted to be loved because it felt most natural to me and I became frustrated when I didn’t receive the same. Why? Because he was showing me affection because that’s what he wanted. We were completely missing the mark with each other. With these tools in hand, we can begin the work of successfully providing tailored love to one another and then, to our children.

Conscious parenting

Speaking of children, I always knew that I wanted to be the type of parent who could be more aware of how I interacted and disciplined my children. I was initially introduced to this concept from Dr. Shefali which eventually led me to find additional accounts of doctors and leaders who thought that you could parent in a more gentle way. That you could look at your past, how you were as a child and use that to understand why you parent in certain ways. Especially those instances that may leave you feeling guilty. By finding this style of parenting, I was able to begin the journey of thinking about my childhood traumas and wins to become more aware of how I engage with my kids. It is a work in progress but I am thankful for social media introducing it to me.

Relatable Parenting Struggles

Listen, there is nothing more fulfilling than realizing that you aren’t the only one going through a certain situation. Being a mother has been the most challenging part of my life for the past 7 years, so when I found accounts of other mothers with struggles like me- anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, etc.- it felt really good and validating. They also gave me the tools to do my best to get through them.

Therapy

One thing I know for sure, finding therapists on social media was VERY exciting. Obviously, you can’t replace personal therapy sessions with a few social posts but you can absolutely use them to think more clearly about yourself. They often offer actionable steps and helpful insight into common mental health issues. The key is to take what you need and research it further. When you can’t afford therapy, using these platforms can be a huge first step in getting the help you need.

Black Women Living the Life

We are getting the very best of everyone on social, but it doesn’t mean our best should be discounted. Seeing black women living lives of luxury, starting their own businesses, being confident and sure of who they are made me excited. It allowed me to visualize myself doing the same, then taking the necessary steps to get it done.

 And just for fun…

Literally, How to Have Fun 

One of the best things about social media is the amount of FUN everyone seems to be having. This may seem counterintuitive since oftentimes we worry that we spend too much time on social and not actually living our lives, but I’ve found a way to use social as inspiration for living my real life and disconnecting. The comedy skits, the dancing, the memes, the vacations, etc. it truly taught me the importance of logging off and making real-life memories.

What are some important things you’ve been introduced to through social media? I can always use more ideas!